A Cloudy Paradox

The thunder is rolling low in the sky just outside my window and I have found my mind drifting from one thing to another. It is amazing how the rain can put me in a trance and render me useless. Every journey has its pondering places along the way. I guess that just like the rain washes everything clean, my cloudy mind needs to experience a rainy daze occasionally if for no other reason than that clarity follows soonafter.

We normally think of a cloud as something that obscures our vision. But could it be that some clouds actually clarify? Could some clouds come into our lives not to confuse us but rather to guide us?

God's children found that to be the case in the desert as they came out of Egypt.

"And the LORD went before them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead them along the way . . ." Exodus 13:21

The cloud clarified - it guided them.

Sometimes clouds are scary though. I remember how as a child I would hear the thunder rumbling from the clouds outside and fear would strike me to the core. A cloud can't hurt anyone. It's just vapor - water molecules. And yet their black presence has the ability to change our mood and send us running.

I overcame those childish fears after time simply because experience has taught me that even when clouds roll in I generally have nothing to fear. Often we must "go into" our fears in order to render the fear powerless over our lives.

If the cloud in the desert represented the Presence of Almighty God, then the children of God faced a paradox. What they in fact feared was in reality their Protector. They followed at a distance, but the brave pressed in close. They enjoyed the cloud from afar, but Moses was not content with that. He desired to get personal.

"Moses entered the cloud . . ." Exodus 24:18

What did he find there? He found reason both to fear and to be comforted. In the Presence of Holiness embodied, Moses feared the LORD for he knew himself better than he ever had. And yet he was comforted, because all that had formerly been hidden and unknown had become plain and personal to him.

I want to be like Moses . . . pressing into the God who I both fear and am comforted by. I want to draw near to the cloud so that all will be clarified. I want to breathe in the vapors and allow the Holy Spirit to engulf me in His Presence.

And yet I'm sitting here looking out the window at the clouds from a distance. I hear their rumbling and I see their movement. Will I dare to draw near? Will I find clarity in the cloud?